Little Ramblings, Ducks and Tools

Okay, these past few weeks have been about failing forward and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. These past few weeks have also been abou breaking mental chains...

I made my first ever narrated video about a Lord of the Rings inspired painting called Aragron in Rohan. To share the whole proces was fun, but also very scary. I was totally okay with sharing the proces of creating the painting, the (beginner) mistakes I made and how I got to the end rsult. I hope someone will get something out of it, or at least be entertained a bit (https://youtu.be/C5tspN-K3zw).

But to narrate it myself... To speak into a microphone about my work... Yikes! I sound timid, my pronunciation is way off and I can tell I'm awkwardly stumbling forwared telling the story. I feel uneasy about it. And I put it out anyway. Why?

I took a course by Tony Robbins and Dean Grazoisi laast year. He and fellow teachters urged us to take uncomfortable action. "Do it messy, do it imperfect, but do it anyway".

Some of what's in the 1,5 minute video.

Of course I already knew that if I wanted my creative work to go anywhere, I needed to present myself to the world. Not an avatar, an alter ego, just plain old me. Honest, real and raw. That's what I value in other poeple, so why wasn't I doing this? Honvestly, I was half-@ssing it. For a long time. Over the last year I've gron to understand I thoug I needed permission. Someone to tell me that I'm good enought, that my art is good enough...

So for the last year I've been more active putting out art on Instagram, sharing with other people I know, and at times getting wonderful feedback. It took some time for me to grasp that most of them aren't just being friendly; they really mean it.

So, surprise!!! I finally understood what they mean by "you yourself are your own worst critic" and that there are people who are really taken by some of my art work. Art work that I was seriously considering to throw away!

I hid under a rock for decades when it came to my creative work. Literally not showing my face or letting people hear my own voice. All my music I put out until now, is instrumental or someone else is singing and all the videos are mostly stock footage. I present my artwork on Instagram, and put it up for sale, but not on Etsy, but a second hand trade site...

"Wow, Judith, what would you be telling your friend is she was doing all this??? Would you say she's really trying, going all in? Or is she kind of sabotaging herself?" Yes, those questions really got to me as they should!

It's true fulfillment and growth are on the other side of being uncomfortable and even scarred. So, until a month about, I used to wait until I had all my duchs in a row before I really did anything. Now, I start walking with the first duck and see who else shows up to tag along.

Of course this is a funny analogy, but as long as you know your first step, you can take this step. Then see where you are and then figure out the next step. To me the world is an ADHD-society and I find it's almost impossible to get true clarity these days.

So this practically means that I now set deadlines for my choices and projects. I keep my promises to myself. And if I still don't know what to decide, it's Eeny Meeny, Miny, Moe or toss a coin to let fate decide. Either way, things are set in motion and I don't stall like I used to.

It's visual, simple and fun to write down my progress. It's easier to make decisions quick, because I have a good voerview of everything that's going on. Especially financially which to me is very important because I have many responsibilities that have to be met.

That being said, I didn't ditch the "ducks-in-a-row"-mentality completely; a clear overview of what's going on is very important to me. But not only to still have some control. It's also to discover opportunities.

For this I created my own concise life planner;

• finances per quarter at a glance to keep life for the basic needs stable

• my one page business plan with SWOT is in there which I look at weekly to keep me focussed on the right things

• a time tracker for my art, marketing and admin to see if I'm able to put in the hours and where efficiency can be improved (I don't like admin...)

• a scorecard I tailored to my small business to track progress in my reach and brand name

It's visual, simple and fun to write down my progress. It's easier to make decisions quick, because I have a good voerview of everything that's going on. Especially financially which to me is very important because I have many responsibilities that have to be met.

In the planner I was very deliberate to put in only the "need-to-know" stuff. So I ditched the "nice-to-know" stuff that I've been collecting information on for a long time. I learned that it was another form of procrastination for me and it made decision making for me harder.

The "Sunday's Prep"-list is int here too (see Blog December 15) which I fill out every Sunday and replace weekly with a new one. I also have a monthly version with bigger boulders to move on there and to keep my eye out on the distant future too.

After using my own customised planner for just 1 week, I can say it's really a great tool that made more focussed in where and how I spend my time. My mind, time and focus are less scattered all over the place. So I'm curious and exited what this new hands-on approach wil do in the long run.

I hope you got something out of my little ramblings. I put my "Month's Plan" below. Feel free to give it a try if it speaks to you/

Have a great weekend and enjoy Easter!

Judith