Taming the monster of Imposter Syndrome

Today I did something very brave. I enlisted for a waiting list for the next Fantasy Fest in 2026. To sell my art, prints and some other stuff that I haven’t figured out yet.

I’ve been at Fantasy Fest quite a few times. It’s amazing. Enchanting music, people dressed up in the most cool costumes, art, pirate food, books, stationary and all kinds of magical things. I always come back with new prints, washi tape, mugs and stickers.

And now, I plan to go there not as a customer, but as a representative of my little cozy art shop.

But do I even belong there? I haven’t been pursuing art professionally that long, although I have been selling greeting cards for over a decade through a kaartjeposten.nl. It’s strange how that doesn’t that count for anything in my head. Aah, imposter syndrome…

Of course, we all deal with this. So why do we feel like a fraud? I know by experience that if you look for evidence you don’t belong somewhere, you will ALWAYS find it. Brene Brown

has done some extensive research on this and wrote a couple of very helpful and profound books on this.

This helped me understand it. So how do we change it? Or change its influence on your life?

I came up with a couple of strategies to tame the monster of inferiority.

Confidence account

Every time I got a compliment for a poem I wrote, or someone stated my work helped them a little or brought them joy, or baked a cake they really liked… I took a screenshot, picture or made a note. All these entries were brought together in a digital folder on my computer called “confidence account”. It became my vault of proof that I matter to people and what I do matters to people.

Over the the last five years I count 558 entries. That's a lot. And the secret of all these entries is not that these are necessarily big things. But they do add up. And that’s when you really can discover that this voice is a liar.

Make is small

We can dream up a lot in our heads. And in this fantasy we can make things awesome or threatening. But neither has to do with reality.

When I stepped out of my comfort zone and set up a small table at a book fair at a school with some paintings and bookmarks with my art on it, oh boy, I was so nervous.  What would people think? I could only imagine them giggling in contempt or ignoring me.

But this was no way to show up at this event. I knew many of the people who were going to be there. And half of the proceeds would go to a good cause. This made it both daunting, but also impossible for me to show up all tense and scarred.

So, I had a good talk with myself. I promised myself to stand behind my table having fun conversations and asking people about their favourite books. That was it. No sales pitch, no marketing strategy. Just small talk with a twist of common interest; books.

It worked out wonderfully. I sold pretty decent. But more importantly, I had the experience that all the drama I had dreamt up in my head, didn’t happen.

It’s not about you

As a fan of the event, I have been talking about attending at Fantasy Fest for over a year. Because I thought it would be so cool to be part of it. So when would I take the leap?

Since the last time I really stepped out of my comfort zone was over a year ago. It is true that over the last two years my life wasn’t in the kind of shape to take on a big challenge like a two day event. But that excuse isn’t true anymore.

I have been putting stuff “out there”. But in my view, posting on Facebook and Instagram, trying to sell online, those al really don’t count. Because it’s safe and you get lost in the sheer volume of content online.

I pride my work to be personal, cozy and honest. I think investing in personal relationships is crucial to live a life of fulfilment. I also think that’s missing from our society today. So I came to the conclusion that it was time a take another step living up to these standards.

And of course I quote the great JRR Tolkien; "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

And when it gets as simple and profound as that, it’s no longer about the individual, but an idea or common belief.

It took me a couple of years to get to things point; it’s really not about me. Thank GOD!!!  It’s about the importance of human connection and how to restore it. How to (re)build true community.

This helped me to take the leap. And yes, the nerves are still there. But I’ll handle it, because if the cause is to be a part of building a merrier world, what could be more exiting and important than that?